


Hold On and Let Go

by texasbelle91



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU no ZA, Drug Use, F/M, Mentions of Underage Sex, Teen Pregnancy, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Violence, and drug use during pregnancy, characters are OOC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-22 18:05:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2516912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texasbelle91/pseuds/texasbelle91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know why we can't get it right, it's like trouble's gonna find us no matter what we try and I don't give a damn anymore if the whole town knows I just wanna hold on to you and let go (Meth AU/Characters may be OOC)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hold On and Let Go  
_______________________

Beth pulled her car up in front of an old familiar trailer. It was just as worn down now as it was back then. She slipped on her sunglasses and stepped out of the car, almost stepping on a plastic princess tiara. She hadn't been expecting that.

She sighed and carefully stepped over the toys that were scattered in the yard as she made her way to the front door.

Raising her fist to knock, she stepped back as the door swung open.

She stood there staring at the man in the doorway who in turn was staring back at her.

Daryl opened his mouth to speak but before he could get the words out a little blonde girl ran past him and wrapped her arms around Beth's legs.

"I knew you'd come see me, mommy," the little girl smiled up at Beth.

Beth looked down at her for a moment before looking back at Daryl.

"Umm," she cleared her throat, "is Merle here?"

Daryl grunted. "Why tha hell ya askin'?"

"I just....I wanted to talk to him."

"Lil' late fer that, don't ya think?"

"Mommy," the little girl jumped up and down, "pick me up. Please, mommy."

Beth took a deep breath and looked down at her.

"Annie, get inside," Daryl said to the little girl. 

"Annie?" Beth's voice cracked.

"Yeah," Daryl said, crossing his arms, "Merle named 'er."

Beth looked down and wiped her eyes. 

"I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have came here. I'm sorry I bothered you."

She quickly turned around and all but ran to her car.

Daryl huffed as he watched her. 

"That's right, bitch. Run like ya did before," he called out just as she was getting into her car.  
__________

An hour later Beth found herself parked in front of her father's house with tears running down her face.

She tried to dry her eyes and calm herself down before she went inside but the moment she looked up and saw her father and sister standing on the porch, watching her, she lost it.

Opening the car door and getting out, she ran towards the house.

"Bethie, are you alright?" Her father asked when she reached the top step.

"He named her Annie!" She cried out. "He fuckin' named her Annie!"

She watched as Hershel lowered his eyes and Maggie hung her head, shifting uncomfortably.

"Oh my God! Y'all knew?"

"Yes, Bethie, we did." Hershel replied.

"I...," Beth shook her head, "I can't believe it. Y'all knew!"

"Elizabeth Joanna Greene, don't you dare try to put the blame on us for anythin'," Hershel spoke sternly. "None of this is our fault. You only have yourself to blame."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Daddy. I'm the fuck up." Beth looked at her sister, "You should have told me!"

"It's not my fault, Beth. You need to quit blaming everyone, including Merle for what's happened. You made the choice to be with him. It's your fault you ended up pregnant by a Dixon at sixteen."  
"I'm not tryin' to blame anyone else, Maggie!"

"Elizabeth, maybe you should leave," Hershel reasoned.

Beth rolled her eyes. "I'm not leavin', Daddy. I'm here....I'm here to fix things."

"Alright then," Hershel nodded, "get your things and put them in your room then you can help Maggie with the horses."

"Yes sir," she mumbled before going to her car.  
_________

Later that night, while lying in bed, Beth tried to think of ways she could right her wrongs.

She had made so many mistakes, some bigger than most, but she didn't know where to begin.

Maybe she should begin with trying to fix her biggest mistake, and quite honestly the thing she regretted the most, but that would mean speaking to Daryl again but maybe she'd get lucky and Merle would be there. All she'd have to do is bat her eyelashes and he'd be wrapped around her finger again. But no, she couldn't do that. She wasn't sixteen anymore and it wouldn't fix a God damn thing, it'd only make it worse.  
____________

Daryl rubbed his eyes, poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.

He and Annie would be going to visit Merle today and after the surprise visit from Beth the day before, he was not looking forward to telling Merle.

"Uncle Daryl!" Annie shouted happily as she ran into the kitchen, "I'ma see my daddy today!"

He smiled and picked her up, "Yep, ya sure are. What ya want fer breakfast, Princess?"

"Umm," she tapped her finger against his chin, "Mickey Mouse pani-cakes an' scrambled eggs."

"Ya got it, Princess."  
___________

After breakfast, Daryl and Annie cleaned up and got ready to go visit Merle in prison.

Both were silent the whole two hour drive, until they pulled into the parking lot.

"Listen 'ere, kid. We ain't tellin' yer daddy who came by yesterday. Ya got it?"

"Yes sir," Annie nodded and both climbed out of the truck.

Inside, they had to wait twenty minutes before they'd get to see Merle. He was set for release in two months so Daryl figured he could deal with the Beth situation then. No need to mention it right now.

When Merle sat down across from them, Annie's face lit up and she started rambling.

Daryl and Merle didn't try to stop her. 

Merle's own face lit up with a smile as he listened to his little girl talk about school and the new dress her aunt Lori had bought her for church.

Daryl looked up at the clock to see their time was almost up.

"We gotta go soon. Go 'head an' tell yer daddy bye," he told Annie.

Annie crinkled her nose and gave a little huff. "Bye, daddy! I love you."

"Bye, baby girl. Love ya, too."

Daryl and Annie stood but before they walked out, Annie turned back around to face her daddy.

"Daddy," she called out, "mommy came to see me yesterday."

Daryl's jaw tightened as he turned around to face his brother. If looks could kill, Daryl would have died in that moment and he was sure that when Merle got out, he would be.

Both of Merle's fists were clenched and he looked as if his head would explode.

Annie's eyes were wide and fearful and she had one hand over her mouth and the other gripped Daryl's tightly.

"Don't ya dare let that bitch 'round her," Merle growled. "I don't care what ya gotta do but keep 'er away from my kid!"


	2. Chapter 2

Beth had been back for a week now but had made no other attempts at contacting Daryl or Merle or anyone else except her family.

Today was going to be different though. She had a lot to prove not only to herself but to her family as well. They were all still walking on pins and needles just waiting for the moment she broke.

She couldn't blame them though, she was waiting for that moment as well.

It didn't take her long to gather up the nerve to leave the farm and go into town.

Beth walked into the police station, asked for Officer Grimes and waited until she was shown to his office.

"Bethie Greene," Rick smiled and hugged her as she entered his office.

She smiled back, "Hi, Rick."

"What can I do for you?" He asked as he took a seat behind his desk.

"I need," she laughed nervously, "I need to have my probation transferred here."

"Okay, we can do that. Do you have all of your information?"

"Yes sir," she said and pulled out a folder and handed it to him.

Rick looked through the file and sat it down. "I'll contact your probation officer and have everything transferred here and I'll let you know when to come in. Are you at your dad's address?"

"Yes sir, I am."

"Are you clean? Can you pass a drug test right now?"

Beth nodded, "I can."

"Alright," he stood up, "I'll be right back."  
__________

Hershel sat down across from Merle and folded his hands on the table in front of him.

"I talked to Daryl," Hershel said, "he told me that you know Beth is in town."

Merle nodded and bit his tongue. 

"Well, Bethie is staying at the house but just as I told Daryl, I will not let her around Annie. I see she's trying to change but until I know for sure that she is, I won't let her endanger my granddaughter's life."

"Ta hell with her changin'. We both know she ain't gonna do nothin' 'cept what she wants ta do," Merle replied through gritted teeth, "She jus' wants ta come in 'ere an' fuck up our lives, ol' man."

"Now, Merle, you need to listen to me, I want what's best for Annie just as much as you do. I will make sure she's safe. You have my word."

Merle nodded and snickered. "I shouldn't have let Annie see pictures of Beth an' y'all shouldn't have showed 'em ta 'er either. She didn't need ta know who 'er mama is. Beth sure as hell never made any effort."

Hershel sighed, "We both know Beth was sick and we all tried to help her. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped."

"I know," Merle agreed.  
________

"Alright, Bethie," Rick said, once again taking a seat at his desk, "we'll get your test results back within forty-eight hours. But, there's still some questions I have to ask."

"Okay," Beth nodded.

"First of all, have you had any recent contact with someone who has a criminal record?"

"No sir."

"Okay. Second, are you willing to attend courses or admit yourself to a hospital, rehab facility or serve time in jail for the remainder of your probation?"

"Yes sir. I'm willing to take courses. I will only admit myself if it's absolutely necessary."

Ruck looked down at Beth's file and made several notes in it before picking up another and doing the same.

"My third question is, how are you really doin'?"

Beth shrugged. "I'm doin' fine. I wish I could fix everythin' but I can't."

"Don't say that. You can always fix things. Especially with your family. I know they love you and only want what's best for you."

"I know they do. But I...."

There was a tap on the door and it opened slightly. "Rick? There's someone here who wants to speak with you," one of the secretaries said.

"Give me a minute to finish up with Ms. Greene then you can send them in," he told her.

"Will do," she replied.

"Um, before I go would you mind if I came by your house later to talk to Lori?" Beth asked.

"Not at all. She should be home around six."

"Thank you, Rick."  
_________

Daryl waited quite impatiently for his turn to speak with Officer Grimes.

He wasn't in any kind of trouble, he was actually there to ask for a favor, but that didn't stop him from nervously fidgeting and biting his lip.

"Officer Grimes will see you now," the secretary called out to Daryl and motioned for him to follow her to Rick's office.

Daryl stopped short of the office when Rick stepped out followed by Beth.

She looked up at him and quickly adverted her eyes as she walked away without saying a word.

Daryl followed Rick into his office and sat down across from him.

"We don't have Merle's release date set," Rick informed him, "but he's lookin' at anywhere from six to eight weeks from now."

"Good ta know but that ain't why I'm here."

"Well, why are you here?"

"I need ta get a restraining order."

"Okay," Rick pulled out a form, "Who is it for?"

"It's fer Annie. I need ta make sure Beth Greene cain't be 'round 'er."

Rick looked up and let out a long sigh. "Daryl, are you sure you want to do that?"

He shrugged. "It ain't my choice. Merle wants me ta get it."

Rick leaned back in his seat. "I don't want to do that to her. To Annie or Beth."

"Like I said. It ain't my choice."

"Alright then. I'll send in the paper work and you'll be contacted for a hearing to receive the restraining order."

"Thanks man."  
__________

Beth was leaned up against her car in the parking lot of the police station, smoking a cigarette when Daryl walked out.

"Daryl!" She called out and walked towards him. "Hey, Daryl. Would you stop so I can talk to you?"

He stopped and turned to face her. "What tha hell do ya want, Beth?"

"I want to see my daughter."

He laughed. "That ain't happenin' 'less hell freezes over."

"She's mine and Merle's daughter, not yours!"

"She's Merle's kid, Beth, but she ain't yers! So stay tha hell away from 'er."

"Daryl, you can't do this! Tell me where Merle is and I'll talk to him about it."

"Yeah, I already know how that's gonna go."

"Please, I just want a chance to make things right. She's my baby."

Daryl scoffed. "Yer baby? Ya didn't give a damn 'bout yer baby when you was stickin' a needle in yer arm."

Beth froze. She knew everyone would use that against her but it still hurt to hear it.

"I'm tryin'," she whispered as Daryl walked off.


	3. Chapter 3

Hold On and Let Go  
Chapter 3  
____________

Four days after his confrontation with Beth in the parking lot of the police station, Daryl tucked Annie into bed, turned on her night light and stood in the doorway as she said her nightly prayer.

"....and God, please let mommy come see me again. I love her. Amen."

He leaned his head against the door frame and silently cursed himself and Merle. Though he really couldn't blame himself for any of this. Annie was Merle's daughter, not his. It wasn't his fault Merle didn't want Beth around her. He was simply following his older brother's orders by keeping her away, just like he always did.

He wasn't one to pray, but he did that night. He prayed for Annie. That for her sake, both Merle and Beth would straighten up, get clean and be there for her. Though he knew Merle had tried his best while Beth had made no effort before.  
_________

Beth sat in her bedroom chewing her lip after biting all of her finger nails into the quick.

She had to do something. What she wanted to do wasn't an option anymore but she had to find something to take her mind off of Annie.

She didn't care how late at night it was, she decided to clean. 

About halfway through scrubbing the kitchen floor on her hands and knees, Hershel and Maggie stood in the doorway.

"What on earth are you doin', Bethie?" Maggie asked.

Not looking up, she replied. "What's it look like I'm doing?"

"Beth," her father's voice was soft but still commanded her attention so she looked up. "You need to get some rest."

"No," she shook her head, "I can't."

"And why can't you?"

"I can't stop thinkin' about her. Daryl won't let me see her. He has no right to keep her from me and yet, he is."

Hershel walked over to his youngest daughter and helped her stand. 

"I'm tellin' you right now, go to bed and get some sleep. We'll discuss this further in the mornin'. Alright?"

She stayed quiet and let him lead her upstairs to her bedroom.  
_________

The morning came too soon for Beth nd before she knew it she was in the barn shoveling the stalls just as she had been told to do.

Hershel hadn't given her the chance that morning to talk, instead he rushed her out the door and then he and Maggie left soon after she started her chores. 

She didn't mind the work, it kept her occupied. However, it didn't keep her mind from wandering. All day she thought of Annie and all the things she had missed out on. 

By noon Hershel and Maggie still hadn't returned but at dinner time, two cars came flying up to the house.

Beth, along with Patricia and Otis, stepped out onto the porch and watched as Hershel and Maggie exited the first car and started towards the house. Stepping out of the second car was Officer Rick Grimes and his partner Officer Shane Walsh.

Hershel turned to face the men and held his hands up. "Just give me a few minutes with her to explain what's goin' on and then you can speak with her."

Both men nodded in agreement and Hershel continued up the stairs towards Beth.

"Bethie, come inside," he said and gently took hold of her arm to lead her inside.

"Daddy? What's....I....I didn't do anythin'. Why are they here?" Beth said panicked.

"Have a seat, Bethie. We need to discuss the situation with Annie."

Beth sat down next to Maggie and watched as Hershel paced the living room.

"Elizabeth," he started, "you cannot be around Annie. No matter how much you want to make things right."

"Wh...what?" Beth stammered.

"Rick and Shane are here to serve you with a restraining order," Maggie explained, "you can't see or contact Annie in any way."

"I...I don't understand," Beth said, jumping up from her place on the couch and staring at her father. "Daddy?"

"Bethie, you do not have any rights to Annie. You gave birth to her, yes. But you don't have any rights to see her and Merle doesn't want you to see her."

"Bullshit! I'm her mother!" Beth shouted.

Hershel looked down and shook his head. "We begged you not to, Beth. But you signed your rights away. Legally, Merle's her only parent but Daryl is her legal guardian."

"No," Beth shook her head and began crying, "you're wrong, Daddy. I wouldn't....I didn't do that!"

"You did, Bethie," said Maggie as she stood and made her way over to Beth. "We asked you not to. I told you I would raise her until you got better but you had already made up your mind. It didn't matter how messed up you were, wat drugs you were on or anythin'. We had no way of stoppin' you. The day you handed her over to Merle, you told him and us that you didn't want her and then you left. After that, we only heard from you when you need money or were in some kind of trouble and occasionally when you were clean but that never lasted long. You never once asked about her."

Beth burst into tears and fell down to her knees just as Rick entered the house.

He took one look at Beth and quickly turned away, wiping his own eyes.

Maggie helped Beth to her feet as Rick and Shane began explain the terms of the restraining order.

"How...how did this happen?" She asked Rick and held up the papers.

Rick shrugged and motioned for Hershel to follow him outside.

"I shouldn't be tellin' you this," said Rick, "but Daryl hired Lori to be his lawyer and since her dad is the county judge, he signed the papers without a hearin'. I know it's not....."

Hershel raised his hand for Rick to stop, "If it will keep my granddaughter safe and my daughter out of trouble, I don't care nor do I need to know how it happened."  
________

Beth pushed her food around on her plate for awhile at dinner before getting up and throwing the plate, food included, into the sink and storming to her room.

Everything she had done, everything she was trying to do was for Annie and now it seemed it had all been for nothing.

Looking over the papers only made things worse. She was hurt when she saw that Daryl's lawyer was Lori Grimes, someone she had known and trusted. 

She started laughing. "You are so fuckin' stupid, Beth," she told herself out loud.

Sleep didn't come easy for her. She tossed and turned and laid away until she couldn't take it anymore.

Getting up, she went to her bathroom and rummaged through the medicine cabinet, finding nothing but a tube of tooth paste, she went downstairs. She had done this many times before so she was careful not to disturb anything or make any noise as she picked the lock on her fathers office door.

Hershel wasn't stupid. He knew Beth would try to get into his office if things got too hard for her, much like they had today. After all, it was how they found out about her problems so many years ago. 

So he waited.

As soon as the door to his office was open, he flicked on the lamp at his desk.

Beth stared at her father wide eyed and batted her eyelashes.

"What are doin', Elizabeth?"

"Nothin', daddy," she said innocently.

Hershel crossed his arms and pointed to the chair in front of his desk.

"Have a seat."

Beth didn't move.

"Don't make me tell you twice, Elizabeth!"

She hurried to the chair and sat down but she didn't dare look up at her father. She knew what she would see and it was best if she could pretend she didn't see those things, she could pretend he didn't care.

"I am very disappointed in you. You have one rough day and you try to fix it by sneaking into my office. That's not how you fix your problems."

No amount of pretending could keep Beth from hearing the pain and disappointment in his voice.

"You gave up that little girl so you only have yourself to blame for that but I will own up to my part in what has happened," he paused and picked up a picture of his family, "I wasn't there enough, when your mother got sick. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to see her that way so I buried myself in work and neglected my responsibilities to this family. To you. I regret not being there. Maybe if I had been around, maybe if I paid more attention, I would have seen the signs. I could have stopped you from being around Merle but I didn't know until after I caught you sneaking in here for drugs. And by then, it was too late."

"Daddy," Beth finally looked up at him, "this isn't your fault. It's mine. All of this, it's my fault. I killed Shawn, daddy." She sighed and fought back her tears, "I killed my own brother because I was too stupid and stubborn. And now....I have to live with that and everythin' I've done." 

Standing up, Beth willed herself not to cry and calmly said, "Comin' back here was a mistake. Annie was a mistake."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hold On and Let Go**

**Chapter 4**

* * *

Beth sat in her car and watched as a school bus pulled away from Daryl's house.

She felt crazy for sitting there and knew she could get into trouble for doing it but she didn't care. She needed to talk to Daryl and it was best if she did that when Annie wasn't there.

* * *

Daryl had had just shut the front door when there was a knock.

Without looking, he swung it open then after seeing who it was, he pulled it back to slam it shut.

"Don't you dare shut that door in my face!" Beth yelled and stepped inside. "You have NO right to keep her from me! You can't do this!"

Daryl scoffed. "I have every fuckin' right to keep her from you!

Daryl crossed his arms over his chest and looked down.

"I don't wanna keep 'er from ya but it ain't my choice."

"Daryl, I'm clean and I have been for over a year now."

Daryl rubbed his face. "Shit, Beth. Ya cain't be 'round 'er."

"Where's Merle?"

"He's busy. 'Sides, I'm Annie's legal guardian. Ya gotta go through me."

"Then why the hell did you say it wasn't up to you?!"

"'Cause she's Merle's kid."

"God, Daryl. She's my kid, too. I know I messed up but I want to make it right. I want to spend time with her."

"Ya didn't want 'er, Beth. Did ya forget that? Did ya forget that you took an overdose ta try ta get rid of 'er? Huh? You didn't want 'er, Merle did."

Tears filled Beth's eyes as she shook her head. "Please, Daryl. Please just give me a chance. Let me see her and spend time with her. You can be there to supervise. I don't have to be alone with her. Please think about it," she sighed, "if you change your mind, I'll...um...I'll be at daddy's."

Daryl watched as Beth turned away and walked out of the door. It wasn't his decision, it was Merle's but he knew where Merle stood.

Daryl didn't sleep much that night or the next. He couldn't get his mind off of Beth and how hurt she had sounded.

* * *

Beth was sitting at the kitchen table looking over restraining order when there was a knock at the front door.

She didn't move to get it because she knew her father was close by.

All she could hear were the muffled sounds of her fathers voice as he opened the door.

She heard the footsteps coming into the kitchen but assuming it was her father, she didn't look up.

"Beth."

Her head snapped up at the sound of her name that clearly didn't come from her father.

"I thought 'bout what ya said," Daryl said while keeping his eyes on her. "No matter what shit ya did 'fore, Annie needs her mama. It ain't fair ta her 'cause she knows 'bout you an' she asks 'bout you all tha time."

Beth stared at him blankly. She wasn't sure if she was imagining this or not.

"I...uh...I talked ta Rick. Told 'im what I'm gon' do," Daryl continued, "I'ma let ya see 'er, Beth but if ya try anythin', it's over."

Beth felt the tears fall from her eyes but she couldn't tell you how she ended up in front of Daryl.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, "I never meant to hurt anyone, especially her. I just...I..."

"I know," Daryl stopped her, "Merle got ya hooked on that shit. But jus' 'cause I'ma let ya see 'er don't mean ya can jus' show up. Merle ain't gon' like this none but maybe you can show 'im ya ain't tha same as ya was."

Beth nodded and wiped her eyes. "Thank you, Daryl"

"C'mon," he jerked his head for her to follow him.

Following Daryl outside, Beth gasped when she saw Annie with Hershel.

"Mommy!" Annie shouted and ran to her. "Mommy!"

Beth hit her knees and wrapped her arms around her baby girl. She didn't know what to say so she just held onto her daughter.

"I'm sorry, baby," she finally whispered.

Annie pulled away from Beth and frowned. "What's wrong, mommy?"

Beth shook her head and picked Annie up. "Nothin's wrong, baby."

Daryl watched Beth hugging Annie for a while before speaking up.

"Hey, Beth, we gotta get home. She's got school tomorrow," he said.

"Before you go, can we talk?" Beth asked.

When Daryl agreed, she sat Annie down and the two of them walked towards the barn. Once they were out of earshot, Beth stopped.

"Does she know?" Beth asked.

"Naw. She don't know shit. Merle ain't never told 'er. He won't even tall 'bout none of it 'round her."

"What's Merle gonna say about me seein' her?"

"Done told ya he ain't gon' like it. He ain't gon' let ya see 'er anymore," Daryl sighed, "I'll bring her over Saturday ta see ya."

Beth agreed but really didn't have anything else to say after that.

She couldn't tell Daryl, her father, Maggie or anyone else that she was never really able to remember everythin' that had happened. She had killed her brother, that much she knew. She even remembers trying to kill herself and Annie by cutting her wrists when she was pregnant.

But other than that, she didn't remember much or maybe she chose not to remember.

That night Beth opened her jewelry box, the one Merle had given her years ago, and removed the false bottom. She stared at the contents but before second guessing herself, she removed one of the baggies and emptied it's contents onto a small mirror.

It wasn't long before the lines she had made were gone. The shit was old but it was somethin' and it made things better, at least for the time being.

* * *

_"Beth!" Shawn's voice drifted into her mind as she curled into a ball on the floor of her bedroom._

_"Beth!" Shawn called out again as she sat up in bed and scrambled to cover herself and hung her head. "This the guy you're gettin' your shit from? Are you fuckin' him for the drugs?"_

_"Who the fuck are you?"_

_"I'm here for my sister. I'm takin' her home."_

_Beth looked up. "I'm not goin' back, Shawn."_

_"I'm not lettin' you stay here, Beth."_

Beth jumped awake at the sound of the gun going off.

* * *

"Bethie?" Maggie rushed to her side, "Are you alright? I heard you screamin'."

"Blood," Beth cried and mumbled, "I killed him. I had the...the gun. I...I was with him and then...then the gun went off. So...so much blood."

Maggie looked around Beth's room as well, something wasn't right and when she spotted it, she yelled out for Hershel.

"Daddy!" Maggie yelled again and snatched up the baggie and handed it to Hershel when he came into the room.

"I'm callin' Rick," Hershel told her and went back downstairs.

* * *

Hershel waited on the front porch for Rick.

As requested, Rick came alone.

"Where is she?" Rick asked.

"Her room. She's high."

Rick followed Hershel upstairs to Beth's room where she hadn't moved.

"Don't...don't touch me," Beth whispered, tears still running down her face, "Caesar...he had a gun and I used it. Shawn wouldn't leave so I had to do it. I didn't want to but I had to."

"She's not makin' any sense," Maggie told their father and Rick. "She's admitting to killin' Shawn on purpose but then she says she didn't mean to."

"Beth," Rick knelt down beside her, "I have to take you in. You broke your probation. You know that, right?"

"The blood won't come off," she cried and held out her hands. "It's still there."

"Beth," Maggie put her arm around Beth's shoulders, "there's no blood. Rick has to take you in. You were clean but you used again."

Bethie, ya hear that? Daddy's goin' to call the cops. Are you alright?"

"Maggie, shhh. Please...please don't tell daddy. I...I...," Beth looked around her room but her mind was hazy, "I...uh...I'm fine. I didn't do anythin'."

Maggie helped Rick get Beth up and held her arms behind her back as he handcuffed her then led her out to his car.

"Rick, wait," Hershel stopped him just as he put Beth in the car and shut the door. "This isn't right. She's my daughter, my little girl. Can you let her go? If you arrest her now, she may never come back to us."

Rick listened as Hershel pleaded with him and though he knew he shouldn't, he opened the car door and unlocked the handcuffs.

"Keep an eye on her, Hershel."

"I will. But I need your help with somethin'."

"Anythin'."

"What she was sayin', about Shawn, I want you to look into it. Surely there's somethin' the cops overlooked."

"Hershel, that happened seven years ago. I'm not sure there's gonna be anythin' that's changed."

"Would you please look into it? The cops in Tallahassee never told us much about Shawn's death. They never even found the gun Beth used."

Rick sighed, "I'll look into it."

"Thank you."

The men shook hands then Rick left.

* * *

Saturday morning Annie woke Daryl up by pouncing on his bed.

"Uncle Daryl! Uncle Daryl! Wake up! Today's mommy's day! I get to see my mommy!" She squealed happily as Daryl woke up laughing.

Daryl and Annie went through their usual Saturday morning routine of waffles and cartoons before heading to the Greene farm.

Hershel met them at the door and ushered Daryl into the kitchen while Maggie took Annie out to the pasture to see the horses.

"Beth's not herself," was the first thing out of Hershel's mouth but Daryl understood those three words without knowing the full details.

"What'd we do? Annie wants to see her."

Daryl and Hershel looked towards the door when they heard footsteps.

"I don't want to see her," said Beth.

Daryl shook his head. "What tha fuck is wrong with you, Beth? Ya come here, say yer clean an' ya wanna see Annie but tha first chance ya get ya fuck it all up! Yer gon' get yer ass out there an' tell that lil' girl ya don't want 'er 'cause I'm sick of tryin' ta explain to 'er why yer sorry ass ain't there! Merle may be a piece of shit but 'least he gives a damn 'bout 'er an' she knows he loves 'er."

Beth stood there and stared blankly at him.

Hershel put his hand on Daryl's shoulder, "Son, let's go outside."

Daryl reigned in his temper when he saw Annie and Maggie walking towards the house.

"What tha hell's wrong with 'er, Hershel? She was fine a few days ago!"

"We don't know how or where she got the drugs but we're not lettin' her go anywhere without one of us bein' with her."

"Let me in 'er room. If she's got somethin', I'll find it."

"Uncle Daryl, Aunt Maggie said mommy's sick."

"Yeah," Daryl picked her up, "she is."

"Can I see her?"

"Naw..."

"Yes, she can see Beth," Hershel interrupted. "Maggie can stay with them."

"Yay!" Annie squirmed out of Daryl's arms and ran to Maggie, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the house.

"Daryl, Annie needs this," Hershel began once Annie and Maggie were inside, "Beth needs this. Maybe if she spends time with Annie, gets to know her and see what she's been missing out on, maybe she'll stay clean. It couldn't hurt to at least try. But while she's seein' Annie, you can search her room."

Hershel led Daryl upstairs to Beth's room and together they searched every place Daryl could think of.

"Well, that's certainly not what I expected," Hershel said as he looked at the mess Daryl had made and the small pile of things on her bed.

"What'd ya expect? She's got weed, Meth, pills an' other shit. I'm tellin' ya right now, she knew what she was doin' when she came back here. Probably couldn't get anymore of this shit where she was."

Daryl flushed everything he could and threw the rest out. When he had finished, he joined everyone in the living room.

"Hershel, ya mind keepin' Annie for a few days?" Daryl asked.

"Of course I don't mind."

"Aight, y'all can carry 'er ta school. Maggie, can ya pack a bag fer Beth? She's comin' with me."

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Anything in Italics is a flashback

** Hold On and Let Go **

** Chapter 5 **

* * *

Daryl watched as Beth jerked her head from side to side in her sleep. In the past hour, she had kicked her blankets off, woke up screaming and even hit thinkin' when he tried to calm her down.

It's going on a week now since Daryl had taken Beth from the farm and she hasn't been coherent enough to tell him what she took but Daryl had a few guesses.

Watching her now, he wondered how she got so messed up. He knew it was partly Merle's fault. He had gotten Beth hooked on drugs, he used her but the crazy thing is, Daryl believed Merle really did love Beth. He must have to have stuck by her side while she was pregnant and keep Annie.

He still didn't know everything that had gone down between them. The drugs, the fighting, it wasn't something he wanted to be apart of so he opted to work for Hershel. It was the least he could do since his dumbass brother had ruined his youngest daughter.

* * *

_"C'mon Beth, you owe me. I can't just give my good shit away."_

_"Please Caesar, I'll do anythin'. I'll pay you like I did before," Beth said while reaching out to unbutton his shirt._

_He laughed, "In that case, how much do you want?"_

_Beth smiled, quite pleased with herself once he had handed over some drugs and pushed her towards the bedroom._

* * *

Merle slammed his fist into the table, making the people at the next table jump and Rick and Hershel glare at him.

"Do you know anything about the night Beth killed Shawn?" Rick asked.

Merle shook his head. "I don't know shit about that night 'cept she called me an' asked if I could drive down to get her."

"What time was that?"

"Look man, I done told y'all. It was late, 'round ten or so but I wasn't 'bout to drive down to Florida to pick her up. I hung up the damn phone when she started cryin'."

"Well, according to the autopsy, Shawn was killed around eleven-thirty that night," Rick said.

"Merle, why didn't you go pick her up? You could have saved my boys life and hers," Hershel said.

"Listen here, ol' man. I didn't go 'cause it was late an' I wasn't 'bout to drag yer granddaughter out with me. Annie was four weeks old. What tha hell was I supposed to do?"

Rick leaned back in his seat and shook his head. "Do you think Beth actually killed her brother? If she was on drugs, do you think she would've killed him?"

"What I think don't matter none. She killed 'im. End of story."

* * *

Beth sipped the cup of coffee Daryl had given her and tried to stop herself from shaking.

"Yer head clear?" Daryl asked. Beth shook her head.

"I'm a bad mother," she whispered, "I can't be there for her."

"Yeah, ya can. Jus' gotta clean up an' stay that way."

"I never wanted her, Daryl. I only had her because Merle wanted her."

Daryl snorted. "Believe that if ya want but I 'member ya sayin' ya wanted kids. With Merle."

Beth shrugged, "I did. Just never wanted to be sixteen when it happened."

"Well, it happened. Ya cain't change it. All ya can do now is act like her mom."

"But I'm not her mom. Merle doesn't want me to be in her life. And, I'm not even sure I want to be in her life."

"Then why tha hell did ya come back? Run out of drugs? Money?"

Beth nodded her head and gripped her cup tighter as Daryl stared at her.

He stood up and threw down his own cup. "You're a piece of shit," he mumbled.

"I know."

"No ya don't. If ya did, you would've stayed gone! You're all she talks 'bout! She was fine not knowin' you!"

"You think I don't know that?!"

"I don't know what tha hell ta think anymore. I'm fuckin' confused. So why don't ya tell me why you're really here? If ya don't want Annie, why'd ya come by tha house? Why tha fuck are ya here, Beth?"

"I'm in trouble, Daryl!" Beth screamed while fighting back tears. "I was lookin' for Merle. I didn't expect her to be there! I thought he would've...I didn't think he'd keep her!"

Daryl busted out laughing. "Yep, you're a piece of shit, Beth. Ya think he would've gave her up? He made sure she had everythin' she needed. Even after he bought a crib an' other shit for her, ya still thought he wouldn't keep her? He actually bought that shit, Beth! He didn't steal it an' wasn't none of it used. He wanted her an' you knew it."

Beth stared at Daryl blankly before standing up and walking away.

Daryl grabbed her arm before she could get very far. "You ain't leavin'. You're gon' sit yer ass down an' listen ta what tha fuck I have ta say!"

"I don't have to listen to you. I'm leavin'. Now, let go of me!"

"No. You're gon' listen." Daryl pulled her back towards his truck, keeping a tight grip on her arm, he dug some rope out of the bed of his truck and began tying it around her wrists which was difficult to do with her kicking and screaming. "I ain't tryin' ta hurt ya, Beth! I'm tryin' ta get ya clean! We ain't goin' back 'til all that shit ya did is out of ya."

With Beth's arms and legs tied, Daryl carried her to the tent while she continued to scream.

"Go 'head. Keep screamin'. Cain't no one hear ya out here," he told her.

"You can't do this, Daryl! It's kidnapping!"

He shrugged. "So what if it is? If it'll get ya clean, I don't see no harm in it. We're gon' stay here as long as it takes 'cause when we get back, you are gon' sit down with Annie an' talk to her. 'Sides, if ya are in trouble, maybe it'll do ya go ta get clean."

He left Beth sitting in the tent while he went hunting. He was mad at himself for not being able to get through to Beth. She was a lost cause and all he would be doing is hurting Annie. He was mad at Beth and at Merle for bringing an innocent life into this world. He knew Merle would do anything to protect her but Beth, Beth was a different story. She wasn't the same girl she had been. That girl, the one she used to be, would have done everything to make sure her child was taken care of, she never would have put her family through he'll. But this Beth, the one his brother helped create, was different. She didn't care about anyone but herself. Just when he thought he would see a glimpse of the old Beth, she would disappear.

* * *

Merle laid back on his bunk and closed his eyes.

His cell was dark and cold. The only signs of life were the pictures of Annie taped to the wall.

He wanted to do right by her and he had. He had stayed clean. He hadn't done drugs from the moment Beth had told him she was pregnant. Sure, he had been selling drug to make ends meet, but he wasn't using them. He drank a little whenever Annie was with the Greene's but that was it.

All it took for him to end up here was him taking a swing at a smart ass cop and a bag of drugs in his trunk. That was it.

It has been four years since he got to hold Annie and tell her goodnight, since he for to spend a birthday with her. But despite that, he felt he was a better parent than Beth. Though sometimes he knew it wasn't her fault. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," she had said when Merle handed her some pills. He remembers the look that was on her face that night. She had been trying to get him to quit and he considered her an angel for doing that but then she gave up. She gave up on him, she gave up on herself, then she gave up on the world.

* * *

_"Daddy," Annie held her arms open as wide as she could when Merle bent down with a huge smile on his face._

_"What ya want, princess?" Merle asked, picking her up and pointing to the toys._

_It was Annie's third birthday and Merle had promised her she could pick out one thing._

_As he carried her through the aisles and pointed at toy after toy with her shaking her head no, Merle couldn't help but think about how much she was like Beth already._

_He'd never admit this to anyone but before that moment, he had thought Beth would come back to them. The first few months after Annie was born, Merle had been in denial. He knew it, Daryl knew it, hell, everyone in the county knew it. He had thought that by keeping Annie, Beth would come back. She'd realize she had made a mistake but she never did._

_"Daddy," Annie whispered, pulling Merle out of his thoughts. She didn't say anything, just pointed._

_Merle shook his head and picked up the baby doll._

_"Ya sure?" He asked._

_Annie smiled around the thumb that was in her mouth and shook her head yes._

Merle wiped the tears from his eyes at the memory of the last birthday he spent with his baby girl.

Not one person in the world could've been happier than him to know he would be getting out the day before her seventh birthday.

He was going to do right this time.

* * *

After cleaning the squirrels he had gotten, Daryl unzipped the tent and sat down.

"What kind of trouble are ya in?"

Beth rolled over and faced him. "The kind I can't get out of, at least not alive."

"What did ya do?"

"I know I fucked up. I've done things I shouldn't have. Things I never thought I'd do. But there were some things I refused to do. I took some money, just enough to get me far enough away. I didn't have anywhere else to go, Daryl. That's why I came here. Merle's the only one who could've helped me."

"You really didn't think he had Annie?"

"No, I didn't think he did. Merle never seemed like the type to keep a kid. Whenever I brought it up, he always said he didn't want kids."

"She's blood. Merle wasn't 'bout ta let anyone else raise 'er."

"I guess that makes sense. I just can't be her mom," Beth sighed and held out her wrists, "Would you please untie me?"

"No. Not 'til I'm sure you're clean. We've only been out here a few days..."

"Daryl, I feel fine."

"Yeah. You're sayin' that now but ya ain't crashed yet."

Beth couldn't keep herself from thinking about what might have been as she laid in the tent that night. She couldn't sleep and there wasn't anything there that could keep those thoughts away like before.

_"Would you like to hold your daughter?" The nurse asked._

_Her eyes and head were hazy but she nodded. The nursed placed the baby in her arms with a smile before leaving._

_Beth stared down at the baby and held her close to her chest. With tears in her eyes, she gently rocked her._

_"I'm so sorry, baby girl. I'm sorry," she cried._

_"What ya cryin' for?" Merle asked._

_She looked at him, then down at the baby in her arms._

_"I don't want her, Merle. I never did."_

_"Bullshit," he said and sat down next to her, "I know ya want her."_

_"No Merle," Beth shook her head, "I don't want her. I never did."_

_"What tha fuck ya talkin' 'bout?"_

_"I do not want her!" Beth clenched her jaw and shoved the baby into Merle's arms._

_He took her without a word and stared at Beth in disbelief._

_He saw her fists clenching the blanket on the bed and knew she was close to screaming. He wasn't one to stay quiet, always having something to say but he didn't now._

_"Take her," Beth said, "I never want to see her again."_

And she didn't, not until a few weeks ago. She didn't need to see her when she signed the papers. She could go weeks, months, without thinking of her baby.

But now...now she wonders why she did that.

Was she just afraid? Scared of what kind of mother she would be? Scared of what kind of father Merle would be?

"I don't want her. Take her," Beth cried in her sleep as Daryl watched her.

He couldn't bring himself to wake her up.

If he did, he'd just have more questions. He probably wouldn't have anything nice to say either.

* * *

A week and a half later, Maggie was sitting on the front porch in the swing with Annie when Daryl's truck pulled into the driveway.

She wrapped her arms around Annie and watched as Daryl climes out of the truck.

He looked at her and gave her a quick nod, signaling that everything was okay and she didn't have to hang onto their niece.

He walked over to the passenger side and opened the door, picking a sleeping Beth up out of her seat and carrying her inside.

Maggie looked at Daryl expectantly as he closed the door to Beth's room.

"So?" She said.

"So, I'm takin' Annie home. We ain't comin' back, 'least not ta see Beth. She made it clear she wasn't here to see her and she didn't want to see her. I cain't change her mind."

"I figured as much," Maggie said, crossing her arms.

Daryl shrugged and walked away.

Annie was waiting by the stairs when Daryl came down.

His heart broke at the look on her face.

"Mommy doesn't want me, does she?"

Daryl looked at her with tears in his eyes and bit his lip.

He couldn't and wouldn't tell a child her mother didn't want her, especially this child.

He picked her up without a word and sat down on the bottom stair with her in his lap.

"It's not thy she doesn't want ya. She jus'...yer mama's sick. Maybe after she gets better you can come see her."

Annie put her hands on Daryl's cheeks. "It's okay Uncle Daryl, I know she doesn't want me. I jus' wanted a mommy but I have you and daddy and grandpa and Aunt Maggie. I don't need a mommy."

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Hold On and Let Go**

**Chapter 6**

* * *

_"Mommy doesn't want me, does she?" Annie asked Daryl_.

Beth stepped out of her room just as he picked her up without a word and sat down on the bottom stair with her in his lap.

"It's not thy she doesn't want ya. She jus'...yer mama's sick. Maybe after she gets better you can come see her," she heard him say.

Tears were streaming down Beth's face when Annie put her hands on Daryl's cheeks. "It's okay Uncle Daryl, I know she doesn't want me. I jus' wanted a mommy but I have you and daddy and grandpa and Aunt Maggie. I don't need a mommy."

Daryl turned around and looked up the stairs when he heard Beth gasp for air. She was sitting on the floor by her bedroom with her knees pulled up to her chest.

Annie looked at her then back to Daryl before climbing out of his lap and up the stairs.

"You don't have to cry, mommy," she told Beth, "I'm sorry I wanted you to love me. You don't have to though." She put her arms around Beth's neck and kissed her cheek. "I hope you get better," she whispered then pulled away and bounced down the stairs to Daryl, taking his hand and pulling him towards the door. "C'mon, uncle Daryl."

He glanced up the stairs to Beth before following Annie out of the house.

Maggie put her hand on Beth's shoulder and sat down next to her when she heard the front door close. Beth looked over at her and then to Hershel who was standing next to them.

"Daryl's right. I am a piece of shit. I never meant to hurt her. What the hell's wrong with me?!"

"One thing that's wrong with you is the drugs," Maggie said. "Another thing that's wrong is, I think you feel guilty. You did...you do love her, Bethie, and you do want her." She brushed the hair out of Beth's face and put her arms around her shoulders. "I remember, the first few days after you were released from the hospital and after you signed those papers, you were cryin'. You kept sayin' you made a mistake and that you wanted her back. Then, I don't know what happened but you started using drugs again."

"Elizabeth," Hershel stood in front of her now and held out his hand to help her up. When she was on her feet, he put his arms around her. "Bethie, it's not too late to be a good mother, it's never too late for that. Now, come downstairs and we'll talk more. Alright?"

Beth nodded and she and Maggie followed him downstairs to the kitchen where Maggie poured them each a cup of coffee.

"Bethie, I know I never cared much for Merle and I blamed him for everythin' that happened but he has changed. He quit using drugs, he doesn't drink like he used to and he's stepped up. He has taken care of Annie the best he can. Yes, he has made mistakes, everyone does but he loves her and if Merle Dixon can change, then I know you can. You just have to do it for the right reasons. Don't do it for me or Maggie or Annie or anyone else. Do it for yourself, Bethie. No one can make you do anything. You have to want to do it."

Maggie looked at her sister and shook her head. "Do you want to change, Bethie? Do you want to have a better life?"

"I do," Beth whispered.

"Alright then. You can start by telling us the truth. Tell us why, after all of these years, you decided to come back now."

Beth looked up at her father. "I got into some trouble. When I got out of jail, I cleaned up. I got a job at a diner. It wasn't much but it was enough. I could pay my bills and still have some cash to put back in case I needed it. I was even thinking of taking some classes but then, the guy I was with, he decided that things weren't enough for him. He was blowin' all of his money on drugs and alcohol. One night I came home from work and he was gone. He had taken all of the money I had been savin' and he just left. So, I went to see this guy I knew. I figured I could borrow some money from him and he agreed but...but there were some conditions that I wasn't willin' to do."

"Wait," Maggie said, raising her hand to stop Beth. "These guys, are they the same ones you were with in Tallahassee?"

"Yes and no. The guy I was with, his name is Zach, I met him there in California and the other guy, the one I wanted to borrow money from, he's the one I was with in Florida."

"Oh," Maggie responded. "You were in California?"

Beth nodded and took a sip of coffee before continuing. "He wanted me to do things if I wanted the money. I didn't want to but I told him I would but once I got to his place, I took the money he had given me and a little more and I left. I owe him and he's not one to forgive debts. If you owe him, you'll always end up payin' him back. Even if he has to take it from you, it'll either be what you owe or your life."

Beth looked up from her coffee cup to see Maggie and Hershel staring at her. Both had regret, anger, sadness and disappointment in their eyes. All things Beth didn't want to see, things she didn't want to feel herself but did.

"I need to see Merle," Beth said low enough they barely heard her.

* * *

Daryl sat down next to Annie on the couch and turned the TV off.

Annie looked at him and frowned. "What's tha matter, Uncle Daryl?"

"We need ta talk 'bout yer mama an' daddy."

Annie sat back and clutched her baby doll to her chest.

"Is daddy sick too?"

"No, baby, he ain't sick."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Yer daddy is gon' be comin' home soon, ya know that, but him an' yer mama cain't be together. Yer mama wants yoy but since she's sick you cain't be 'round 'er so don't go askin' yer daddy if you can see 'er when he gets home."

She crawled over until she was sitting in Daryl's lap and put her head on his shoulder.

"I don't want mommy an' daddy ta be together."

"You don't?"

"No," she shook her head. "Daddy loves me, mommy don't. I don't want her makin' daddy not love me too."

Daryl pulled Annie up so she was facing him.

"I ain't gon' let that happen but you know yer daddy loves you no matter what an' yer mama loves you too. Aight?"

Annie gave Daryl a small nod before placing her head back on his shoulder.

He didn't say anything else to her as he held her. Not even when he felt her tears soaking through his shirt.

* * *

"It's been weeks since she's done anythin'," Hershel said into the phone. "Maybe we can work something out."

There was a long pause before Beth heard her father speak again.

"I understand that, Rick, but Daryl made sure she was clean. She's been here and hasn't done anythin'."

Instead of staying in the hallway, listening in on her fathers conversation with Rick, Beth went outside to go about her chores.

They hadn't made this easy on her but she knew that's what she needed.

She needed structure. She needed to work and get her mind off of the things that were floating around in there.

Now tha her mind was clear, well clearer than it had been, she wanted to tell them everything, tell them why she came back, but she couldn't.

"Bethie!" Maggie called out as she entered the barn a couple hours later.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"Rick's here. Daddy wants to talk to you."

Beth wiped her hands on her jeans nervously as she followed Maggie out of the barn and into the house.

"Sit down, Bethie," Hershel said, pointing to the seat next to Rick.

When Beth sat down, Rick opened several files and spread them out on the coffee table.

"I'm goin' to ask you some questions, alright?" Beth nodded so he continued. "The night Shawn died, where were you?"

Beth looked at Hershel then down at her hands in her lap before answering. "I was there. I was in the apartment, in the room with him. I had the gun in my hands and I shot him."

"That's not what I asked you, Beth. I asked where you were. You were in the same room as Shawn when he was killed?"

"Yes."

"Okay, do you remember what you were doin' before Shawn got there? Was there anyone else there?"

"Ye...yes," Beth stated.

Rick looked at Maggie and Hershel then back to Beth. "I know you may not want to tell us exactly what you were doin' before Shawn arrived but we need to know. You need to tell us everythin'."

"It's alright, Bethie," Hershel said. "We pretty much know what you were doin' but we're not here to judge you. We're just tryin' to get some answers."

Beth sighed but continued to look at her hands. "I...I was with someone when Shawn got there, we were in bed. Shawn told me to get dressed, he was bringing me home."

"Beth, what happened before Shawn got there?" Maggie asked.

"We...I needed somethin' and I didn't have any money so I...I made a deal with him."

"You had been doin' drugs?" Rick asked.

"Yeah. There were some pills and...and meth." Beth looked up and tried to fight back her tears, "I'm sorry, daddy."

"It's alright, Doodle-bug," he said while reaching over to pat her hand.

Rick made a few notes and handed Beth a book. "Look through this and tell me if you recognize anyone."

"Why?" She asked.

"So we'll know who you were with that night."

She shook her head. "I don't need that book. His name is Caesar Martinez, he's a drug dealer."

"Is he the guy Merle would buy drugs from?"

"No. Merle hated it when I met Caesar. Back then I just thought he was jealous whenever he'd tell me to stay away from him but now I know he was tryin' to protect me."

"Okay, you were with Caesar, you were both under the influence of drugs and you were...you were in bed when Shawn arrived. What happened after Shawn told you to get dressed?"

"I told him no and then there was a bunch of screamin'. Shawn and Caesar were fighting."

"And after that?"

"There was a gunshot and then Caesar was yellin' at me. He threw some clothes at me, told me to get washed up and put them on. I was...I was covered in blood," Beth choked out. "In the shower, there was so much blood."

"Bethie, I need you to calm down and tell me what happened. What were you wearin' when this happened? Did you have the gun? Do you remember seein' a gun?"

She nodded. "I was holdin' the gun when Caesar was yellin' at me and I didn't have any clothes on, just a sheet."

Rick looked over the papers and made a few more notes then pulled out his gun. "Can you show me how you were holdin' it?"

She took the gun and gently placed it in the palms of her hands.

"That's how you were holdin' the gun?" When Beth nodded, Rick took the gun back and rubbed his hands over his face. "Hershel, can I have a word with you?"

* * *

"The reports from Tallahassee didn't mention anythin' about drugs in Beth's system when they booked her," Rick said as soon as he and Hershel were alone in the kitchen. "She said she took a shower to wash the blood off but the files say she was covered in blood, that her clothes were covered in blood."

"Well, I never thought I'd say this but that's good news," Hershel replied. "She didn't kill him."

"I don't think she did but right now, I can't say for sure. We just have to gather more evidence and go from there."

Beth groaned as sunlight drifted into her room, waking her from a not so restful night.

It has been nine days since she recounted the events of Shawn's death to Rick and she hasn't had a night of sleep since.

She's managed to get a few hours here and there but when she does sleep, her dreams are filled with blood, screaming and the images of Shawn's lifeless body.

She finally closed her eyes and rolled over to bury her face in the pillow to shield out the sunlight when she felt she wouldn't be able to sleep without the images that plagued her memory, she got up and quickly dressed then went downstairs.

Maggie was in the kitchen putting the breakfast leftovers in the fridge when she entered.

"I have to go somewhere today, so daddy will need your help at the clinic," Maggie said without looking at her sister. "There's a plate on the table and you're already an hour and a half late so I suggest you hurry."

"Yes ma'am," Beth muttered to herself as she sat down to eat.

It didn't take her long until she was in the car and driving to her father's clinic in town.

* * *

"Inmate Merle William Dixon, roll up!"

Merle packed his few meager belongings into the small box they had given him and slowly made his way out of his cell to follow the guard through the cell block.

Once he made it to receiving and discharge, and he went through the process, he realized that this was really it, he was really going home to his baby girl.

As he approached the exit, his heart beat quickened and he had to take a moment before stepping outside.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Annie shouted and waved as he made it through the final gate.

He watched his little girl look up at Daryl, then his little brother let go of her hand and she was dashing across the parking lot towards him.

Merle knelt down and sat his box of belongings beside him, holding his arms wide open then wrapping them around Annie as she slammed into his chest.

"I missed you, Daddy," she whispered into his ear.

He hugged her a little tighter and placed a kiss to the side of her head.

"I missed you, too, baby, " he whispered back.

After a few moments of them hugging, Merle picked up his box with one hand and held Annie up with the other, balancing both on his hips as he walked towards Daryl.

"Glad you're out," the younger Dixon said as he clapped him on the back.

* * *

Annie was practically bouncing in her seat as she sat in between her daddy and uncle, holding her daddy's hand and causing Merle to laugh and grin the whole drive home.

When they pulled into the driveway and were out of the truck, Annie was glued to Merle's side.

"Play with me, Daddy?"

"What ya wanna play," Merle said, lifting her up.

"Uncle Daryl got me a Hot Wheels racetrack or we could play with the Barbies Aunt Maggie got me fer Christmas."

Merle chuckled. "Whatever ya want, Princess."

Two hours later Merle and Daryl were both sitting in the floor of Annie's room surrounded by toys while Annie herself was asleep in Merle's arms.

"She didn't sleep much last night," Daryl said. "She was too excited ta see you today."

Merle stood, being careful not to wake his daughter, and laid her on her bed, covering her with a Disney princess blanket before leaving the room.

Daryl grabbed two cans of soda out of the fridge, giving one to Merle, and sat down at the kitchen table with him.

"Me an' Maggie got all the invitations sent out a couple weeks ago. We been waitin' ta choose a cake, thought you might wanna do that," Daryl said before taking a sip of his soda.

"Ya got everythin' Princess?" Merle asked.

"Yep. Maggie got 'er some kinda crown ta wear an' a pink dress. Everythin's ready fer tomorrow."

* * *

Beth yawned and stretched her arms over her head as she walked into the living room.

She was expecting to see either her father or sister since neither had been upstairs but as she entered the kitchen, it was clear she was alone.

She rubbed her eyes and looked around before settling on a plate that was left on the kitchen table with a note in Maggie's handwriting.

_Bethie,_

_We'll be back later._

_If you need anything, call me._

Beth removed the cover off the plate to see Bacon, eggs and toast.

After eating, she went upstairs to waste away the day since no one was home and she knew they'd flip out if she went anywhere.

She sat in her room for a few minutes before boredom set in and she went to Maggie's room to borrow a DVD.

Looking over the cases, she finally settled on what she knew was probably a worn out copy of her sisters favorite movie, Dirty Dancing.

Beth really wasn't one to snoop but when she turned to leave her sisters room, a pink glittery envelope on the nightstand caught her eye.

She went over and picked it up, anger rolling through her as she read the card that was inside the envelope.

Today was Annie's birthday party and there was no doubt in her mind that that was where her father and sister were.

They were keeping her away.

* * *

Annie sat in Merle's lap as Maggie placed the princess tiara upon her head before they all began singing happy birthday and she blew out the candles on her cake.

She was in the middle of opening a gift when she looked up and threw it down.

"Mommy!" She shrieked.

Merle's head whipped around as if he'd been punched and he glared at Beth as she stood there staring.

He clenched his fists at his sides then passed Annie off to Daryl as he stood and made his way towards Beth.

"Tha fuck are you doin' 'ere?" He growled out low enough only Beth could hear him.

She didn't say anything as she stared up into his eyes.

"I asked ya what you was doin' 'ere?!" He said, grabbing her arm.

All she could do was shove the gift she had been holding at him and stare.

Everyone in the backyard was silent as they watched and waited to see how this would play out.

Hershel, Maggie and Daryl all jumped out if their seats when Merle grabbed Beth's arm again and began pulling her towards the front yard, away from everyone.

* * *

"You cain't be 'ere," Merle told her once they were alone.

"She's...she's my daughter, too, Merle. I can be here if I want."

"No, ya cain't. Ya ain't got no right. She ain't yers."

"Yes she is!" Beth snapped back. "You named her after my mother, my dead mother, and then you won't allow me to see her?! That's bullshit!"

"Don't act like ya care who I named 'er after," Merle said, raising his voice. "If yer Mama was 'ere now an' tha shit you been doin', she'd wish she were dead."

Beth narrowed her eyes and shoved Merle. "She's my mother! You had no right to name her that and you have no right to keep her from me!"

Merle chuckled lightly and shook his. "Make up yer damn mind! I ain't playin' no games with you. Yer Mama was tha best woman I knew, she was never nothin' but good to me an' you too, so that's why I named my daughter after her. You ain't that girls Mama though."

Their shouting and cussing grew louder and their voices overlapped until no one could distinguish what was being said.

Just as Beth drew back to slap Merle, Annie slammed against her Daddy's legs and looked up at her Mama with big blue eyes and tears streaming down her face.

"Go away!" She cried as she looked up at Beth. "Leave my daddy alone!"

Beth gasped and wiped at her eyes. "Merle, please, I'm begging you! I made a mistake before, I want to be in her life. I love her."

"Nu-uh!" Annie shouted.

"Annie," Daryl called out to his niece. "Come here!"

Beth knew her face was red with embarrassment at having witnesses to their argument but even as she felt hurt and ashamed, she was pissed.

No one was giving her a chance to prove herself to them.

"I'm not goin' anywhere," she whispered.

"What was that?" Merle asked, anger evident in his voice.

"I'm not goin' anywhere," Beth repeated louder this time. "She's my daughter, too, and no matter what you or my family or anyone else thinks, I'm goin' to make this right. You can't bully me into givin' in this time, Merle."

"Bully you? When tha fuck have I ever done that?"

"You wouldn't quit. You kept using drugs. Do you not remember the time you said you'd leave me because I didn't know how to have a good time? That I needed to loosen up?" She pointed her finger at him, "all of this, this whole damn mess is your fault, not mine!"

And with that, Beth turned away from him and rushed to her car. She didn't bother to look at the house or anyone gathered in the yard as she drove away.

* * *

Merle slammed the door to his bedroom shut and punched the wall.

How the hell could she show up here after all these years and expect him to let her back into their lives?

He supposed she had every right to blame him but he wasn't the one who left. He stayed and stepped up, she didn't.

"You can't just go around doin' shit like that," Merle heard Daryl say from the doorway.

"You let my daughter see her without my consent," Merle growled in brothers face. "I got a lil' girl in there cryin' 'cause her birthday party was ruined an' 'er Mama don't give a fuck 'bout 'er."

Daryl leaned back against the door frame and crossed his arms. "She said she was in trouble," he said.

"What?"

"Beth, she told me she was in trouble an' she's told Hershel an' Maggie that. Somethin' bad happened but she's clean, Merle. I think you should let Annie see her."

"Hell naw. She ain't goin' near my daughter. That lil' girl is confused enough as it is."

"Fuckin' hypocrite," Daryl mumbled.

"Ya wanna say that again?" Merle asked.

"Yeah. You're a fuckin' hypocrite. You did worse shit than Beth's done an' yet ya won't let 'er 'round Annie."

"She killed 'er own God damn brother! I ain't never done nothin' like that!"

"She didn't kill him. Rick thinks he's found proof Beth didn't kill Shawn."

"Then she's fuckin' 'im. She'll fuck anyone if she thinks she can get 'er way. Why tha hell ya think I had a test done ta see if Annie was really mine?"

Daryl stepped closer to his brother and clenched his fists. "Don't neither one of ya get it, do ya? Ain't none of this 'bout you or Beth. It's 'bout Annie an' what this is doin' ta her. That lil' girl thinks her Mama hates 'er. Ya wanna know what she told me? She said she doesn't want 'er own Mama ta be 'round you 'cause she's afraid you won't love 'er anymore. You think we had it bad growin' up, that ain't shit compared ta what's goin' on in that kids head."

"What am I 'posed ta do? Let Beth see 'er 'til she decides she don't want 'er no more? I ain't doin' that ta my baby girl!"

"You could at least think 'bout it. Jus' give 'er supervised visitations fer now. She was doin' alright when I was lettin' 'er see Annie. Everythin' will be fine if y'all keep yer noses clean."

* * *

A week went by without Beth speaking to either Maggie or Hershel.

They were all in the same house, they ate at the same time and were around each other nearly all day but Beth never said a word until finally, Hershel had had enough.

He looked at his youngest daughter as she stood from the kitchen table and placed her empty plate in the sink.

"Beth, sit down," he said firmly.

Beth glared at him but didn't sit down.

"Listen to daddy," Maggie muttered.

"Why should I?" Beth finally spoke. "Neither of you told me about Annie's party. Neither of you asked if to wanted to go. And neither of you said a God damn word when Merle said I couldn't see her."

"You can't exactly blame us, Beth. We haven't seen you in years and then you show up..."

"Not this again," Beth huffed. "I'm not goin' to do anythin' to hurt Annie or anyone else. I just...I need my family. I need y'all but I can't be here if y'all don't trust me. I'm trying to stay clean, to show y'all I'm not like I used to be but no one is willin' to give me a chance. How can y'all trust Merle and be okay with him after everythin' he's done but you can't accept me?"

Hershel folded his hands on the table and looked down, knowing his daughter was right.

"We want to, Bethie. Merle has proven himself to us and if you want us to trust you, you're going to have to do the same. Now, sit down and listen to what I have to say."

Beth sat back down and stared at her father.

"I've spent this past week trying to convince Merle to at least talk to you and he's agreed. He'll be here this afternoon. He's coming alone, he won't bring Annie around until he feels comfortable doing so. I suggest you think about what you're going to do. How are you going to prove to him you will be a responsible mother? Think about it, Beth, and don't just tell him what you think he wants to hear. Be honest and let him know you are willing to try."

* * *

Later that evening, when Merle arrived, Beth was waiting on the front porch and as he approached, she stood and met him in the yard.

"I'm a bitch. I know that," Beth spoke first. "You can call me that, you can call me a whore, worthless or whatever else you want but it doesn't change the fact that I'm here now."

"Yeah, seven years too late."

"Merle, I'm clean. I'm doin' everythin' I'm supposed to. I just want a chance to show you that I won't hurt her. I love her."

"Ain't no way in hell you love 'er an' I ain't 'bout ta let ya tell 'er that."

"Why not? You don't want her to know that I love her?"

"I don't want ya sayin' that to 'er an' then you end up leavin'. I know how that shit hurts an' ya ain't gon' do that ta my lil' girl."

Beth stared up at him without blinking.

"I loved you, Merle, part of me still does but I was sixteen and you were a grown man. You knew we'd never last and yet you continued our relationship. I didn't know any better back then."

"Whoa, hold on. Ya ain't 'bout ta say I took advantage of ya 'cause ya know I didn't."

"I'm not sayin' that, Merle. I'm just sayin' that you weren't willin' to change until you found out I was pregnant and by then it as too late. I was too far gone. You weren't willin' to change for me. You loved the drugs more than you did me. I'm not sayin' I'll be any good at this mothering thing but I want a chance to try. I don't have to see her all the time and you can be there when I do. Please just...just give me a chance."

After listening to Beth talk and beg him to see their daughter, Merle had a lot to think about when he went home.

Annie was curled up in his bed with a doll and when she opened hee big blue eyes as he laid down next to her.

He knew what he had to do. He had to protect her and he was going to do that. She was the only thing in this world that mattered to him.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: ALL TRIGGERS APPLY!

_**WARNING: ALL TRIGGERS APPLY!** _

* * *

 

**Hold On and Let Go**   
**Chapter 7**

* * *

Beth nervously bounced her knee as she waited in the hall just outside of the lawyer's office.

She had been clean for a while now but if you were simply looking at her, you wouldn't be able to tell that by the way she was acting.

"Ms. Greene," the receptionist called out, "Mrs. Blake will see you now. You can just go on in."

"Thank you," Beth said with a small smile as she stood up and took a few steps to the door. Before reaching for the doorknob, she wiped the palms of her hands on her jeans and took a deep breath.

When she stepped into the office the woman behind the desk gave her a friendly smile.

"Please have a seat Ms. Greene," she said. After Beth had taken her seat, the woman spoke again. "What can I do for you today?"

"Well," Beth began as her nerves really started to mess with her. "You were referred to me by Andrea Harrison. She said you helped her sister with her legal problems."

"Yes, that's correct. I did help Amy. As I'm sure Andrea told you, I handle criminal and domestic cases. Which is yours?"

"Both," Beth answered.

"Okay, can you tell me a little bit about your problems?"

"Yes ma'am..." Beth was cut off by Mrs. Blake.

"Please call me Denise," she said.

Beth nodded but continued on with what she had to say otherwise she knew she would lose her nerve. "It's a little complicated. I..um...I had a baby when I was sixteen, the father was much older than me but we were both on drugs and he quit when I told him I was pregnant. After she was born though, I signed papers givin' him full custody of her and then I went on with my life. I kept using drugs and then something horrible happened. Not long after she was born I was arrested for murdering my brother but since then my life's gone to hell and now that I'm clean and I want to be in my daughter's life, everyone is keepin' her from me. They all say I have no right to see her or anythin' but I want to."

"Okay, let me stop you right there. My first question is, were you under the influence at the time you signed the papers?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm pretty sure I was."

"Okay. My next question, do you remember what the papers said or did anyone explain them to you?"

"I don't remember what all the papers said but I was told that by signing them I was givin' up any rights I may have had to her."

"And you were okay with that?"

"At the time."

Mrs. Blake leaned forward and crossed her arms on her desk. "Well, Ms. Greene, just by hearing what you have to say, I think I may be able to help you. But I still need to ask some more questions. Is that alright?"

Beth nodded and watched as Mrs. Blake took out a legal pad and jotted down a few things then looked back up at her. "Exactly how long ago was this?" She asked.

"Seven years."

"Do you remember who all was there when you signed these papers?"

"Um...my dad and sister were there. Merle and Daryl were there and so was Lori."

"Merle, Daryl and Lori are who exactly?"

"Merle was my boyfriend, the father of my daughter. Daryl is his brother and Lori was a family friend. She's a lawyer."

Mrs. Blake raised her eyebrows. "Did any of them know you were under the influence when you signed the papers?"

Beth nodded. "Yeah, they knew."

"Well, that my dear is basically coercion. You were under duress by being under the influence of drugs so you weren't capable of understanding the full extent of your actions. Because of that, whatever these papers were are now null and void. This Lori you mentioned should know that. What role did she play in all of this?"

Beth shrugged. "She was just kind of there for support, I guess."

Mrs. Blake nodded and wrote down a few things then looked at Beth. "You say you were arrested for murdering your brother, were you ever charged with his murder?"

"No ma'am. I was never actually charged but that didn't keep everyone from talkin' and believing that I did it."

"Well, did you? Did you kill him?"

"I honestly don't know. I remember things about that night and from what I remember, I did. But…."

"I am assuming you were under the influence at the time of your brother's death. Am I correct?"

Beth nodded and looked down. "Yes ma'am."

"I'm aware that you've probably had to tell people on numerous occasions about what happened that night and you may not want to tell it again but if I'm going to help you, I need to know what happened. So, can you tell me as much as you can remember?"

Beth took a deep breath and tried to steady her nerves before she began to speak.

"I…I…," she stuttered. "I was with the guy I bought drugs from and Shawn, my brother, came to get me. I remember him tellin' me to get dressed and get my things because he was takin' me home but I kept tellin' him no. I remember there was some shoutin' and then a gunshot and a lot of blood."

Mrs. Blake remained silent for a few minutes while she watched Beth squirm uncomfortably in her seat.

"Look, if you can't or don't want to help me, that's fine but please give me the name of someone who will."

"I didn't say I wouldn't or couldn't help you," Mrs. Blake said as she leaned forward with her elbows on her desk. "I was simply thinking about what you were saying. Do you remember the name of the guy you bought drugs from?"

Beth nodded. "Of course I remember it. We were together for about two years after that."

"What's his name?"

"Caesar Martinez."

Mrs. Blake quickly jotted down the name on a post-it. "Do you know where he lives?"

"No," Beth shook her head. "He just kinda wanders around from place to place. The last time I saw him I was livin' in California. I wasn't with him and I had gotten my life straightened out and then things went to hell. That's when I found out he didn't live but an hour and a half from where I did." She watched Mrs. Blake for a moment before she spoke again. "I'm here about my daughter, not Caesar. Why are you wantin' to know about him?"

"Ms. Greene," she began, "my husband is a private investigator. He works for me as well as Andrea's firm. He's very good at his job and I can assure you that he will be able to find out the truth. That's our first step in this process. We need to clear your name and find out the truth about your brother's death. This has to be done before we can proceed with getting your daughter back because this is the type of thing that the father, the court and the whole legal system will throw at you as a means to keep you away from your daughter. I'm going to do a little research of my own and then give the information to my husband. Once he finds out something, no matter how big or small it is, I'll call you and we can discuss where to go from there. Do you have any questions?"

"I do," Beth said with a slight nod. "I want my daughter. I want to be in her life but I don't want to take her away from her family. I don't want them to keep me from her but I understand that they're just tryin' to protect her. Is there any way we can do this without her bein' taken away from her dad?"

"There is. We can file for joint custody or for some sort of visitation but that all depends on what my husband finds out. As I said, we need to clear your name before we proceed because we don't want them or anyone using this information against you."

Beth and Mrs. Blake said their goodbyes and soon Beth was on her way home.

* * *

Merle leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of Annie's head and smiled.

"What ya doin', Princess?" He asked her.

"You cain't see, daddy!" She said as she tried to push him away.

Merle grinned at her efforts and knelt down next to her.

"Why cain't I see it?"

"It's a 'prise, daddy."

"Oh really. Is it fer me?"

She huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Yes daddy! It's fer you. Now go away 'til I finish."

Merle grinned and nodded. "Yes ma'am."

He walked away but stood in the doorway and watched as his little girl busied herself with whatever it was she was doing.

"What's she doin'?" Daryl asked, walking up beside his brother.

Merle shrugged and chuckled. "Don't know. She said it was a surprise fer me."

Annie knew her daddy was still watching her but she shrugged it off. She just didn't want him to see his surprise before it was finished but if he did, oh well.

She smiled to herself when she heard her Uncle Daryl talkin' to her daddy. Uncle Daryl knew exactly what she was doin' and when she wanted to give it to her daddy but what Uncle Daryl didn't know was that she was makin' one for him and her mommy too.

"Any idea what she's doin'?" she heard her daddy ask.

Uncle Daryl chuckled. "Yeah. I got an idea but I cain't tell ya."

"Ain't right," Merle said but he couldn't hide the smile in his voice.

* * *

"Beth! Where have you been?" Maggie shouted and stormed off the porch as Beth got out of the car.

"I went to Atlanta," Beth said nonchalantly.

"What the hell were you doin' in Atlanta?" Maggie questioned as she followed Beth into the house.

"I went to see a friend of Andrea's."

"Andrea? Amy's sister?"

"Yes, Maggie. Amy's sister."

"Beth, you don't need to be around Amy."

"She's doing better than I am," Beth said as she started up the stairs. "Andrea got her help. She went into a good rehab and she's been clean since."

"You still don't need to be around her," Maggie started but before she could finish, Beth stopped at her bedroom door and turned around to glare at Maggie.

"Why don't I need to be around her?" When Maggie didn't answer, Beth scoffed and shook her head. "You don't want me around her because you think I'll be a bad influence."

"No…."

"Don't even try to act like you're concerned," Beth interrupted her sister. "Y'all won't give me a chance to prove myself but y'all don't understand that that's the kind of shit that makes me want to leave and keep doing what I had been. Did you ever stop to think that maybe Amy is exactly who I need to be around? That maybe she could be a good influence on me or is it just always my fault? I'm always the bad one and everyone's scared I'll mess up other people's lives. I never made Amy do anythin', she did it on her own without me even bein' there."

"That's not what I meant nor is it what I was goin' to say, Beth." Maggie stepped closer to Beth when she finished. "You may be right. She could be a good influence on you but she could also be a bad one. I'm sorry you feel the way you do but none of this is about Amy. I really don't give a damn about her. She's not my baby sister, you are. You're the one I don't want to see get hurt or get into any kind of trouble."

"I know," Beth sighed, "but if you had let me finish instead of jumpin' to conclusions you would know that it's not what you think. I didn't see Amy. Well, I mean I did see her but it was only to get Andrea's number. I called Andrea to see if she knew anyone who could help and she did. She gave me the number to a lawyer in Atlanta who had helped her with Amy. I made an appointment and that's where I was today. Like it or not, I'm not goin' to sit by and let my whole damn family see my daughter but tell me I'm not allowed to see her."

Maggie smiled and hugged Beth tightly.

"What was that for?" Beth asked when Maggie pulled away.

"It was for showin' me that I was right. You do want Annie and you love her. The Beth you were before the drugs is starting to make a comeback."

She rolled her eyes at her sister's comment and stepped into her room. She had the overwhelming feeling that everyone was keeping something from her and she couldn't help but think they all hated her and that's why they were doing it. She couldn't very well blame her dad or Maggie for hating her. After all, she was to blame for Shawn's death even if she didn't pull the trigger. It was still her fault and nothing would convince them it wasn't. And then there was Merle and Daryl. She knew Merle hated her for leaving him and their little girl. That was one of the things she saw in his eyes at Annie's birthday party. The other had her wishing she were dead. He didn't just hate her, he still loved her and it wasn't wishful thinking on her part. He had the same look in his eyes that he'd had the first time he told her he loved her. Only now, that love was mixed with hate.

No wonder he didn't want her around Annie. She realized he didn't want her to hurt their baby the way she had hurt him and then the tears started falling.

"I'm so stupid," she whispered to herself, not even bothering to wipe away her tears as she curled up on her bed.

Every little thing was getting to her and even if she didn't want anyone to see how much she was hurting or how angry she really was, she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold it all in.

* * *

"Phillip?" Mrs. Blake called out as she entered their home.

"We're in here, mommy!" Their daughter, Penny, answered from the playroom.

Mrs. Blake smiled and leaned against the door frame as she watched her daughter and husband playing with play-doh.

"Did y'all have fun today?" She asked them as Phillip stood up and made his way over to her.

"We had a fun today but your daughter dragged me to see some princess movie," Phillip said with a smile then leaned in and kissed his wife. "How was your day, Denise?"

Denise groaned but kept a smile on her face. "Remind me again why I went into law?"

"Because you're a good person and you love to help people," he answered.

"I do love helping people but sometimes things are so complicated that I don't think I'll be able to help them."

Phillip and Denise both looked at their daughter.

"Is this about a new case?" Phillip asked.

"Yes and I'm going to need your help on it," she said.

He kissed her cheek then said, "You know I'll help you as much as I can. What's the case about?"

She shook her head. "We're not discussing this in front of Penny, Phillip, but my notes and the file are on the desk in your office. Take a look at them while I get dinner ready and we'll discuss it after Penny goes to bed."

Phillip nodded as Denise kissed his cheek and told their daughter to come help her with dinner.

When he reached his office and sat down at his desk, he took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for whatever it was he was about to read. He knew that if it had his wife upset, it was going to be a tough case.

After dinner, Phillip returned to his office. He didn't take a good look at the file before, he just glanced over them and made a few notes of his own. But now that Denise was upstairs tucking in Penny for the night, he had time to spread the papers out on his desk and really dig into the case.

"Hmm," he hummed to himself as he read over the police report Denise had obtained from her connections at the police department in Tallahassee.

The first thing that jumped out at him was the name and age of his wife's client who was the only suspect the Tallahassee Police Department had.

"This is a tough one, isn't it?" Denise said from the doorway.

Phillip nodded. "I'm not even through your notes and the police report and I can already see that there may be no way to help this girl. She was only sixteen when she had her baby and when she was accused of killing her brother. What other information were you able to get out of her?"

"Well," she said, moving to sit in a chair across from her husband, "she said she didn't remember much about the night that happened."

"Do you believe her?"

"Yes. I believe her but that's why I need your help on this. She didn't come to me to try to clear her name, she came to me for help because she wants to see her daughter but no court will grant her any kind of visitation as long as she is deemed a threat to her child. Between the murder accusations and her history of drug abuse, I don't know that there is a way to help her but I'm damn sure going to try."

"That's one of the things I love about you," Phillip said with a smile. "I'll finish looking over the files and first thing in the morning I want you to set up a meeting between me and Ms. Greene. I trust your judgement but I want to be able to look her in the eyes and see for myself if she's lying or not."

"I'll call her as soon as I get to the office. Do you want to meet her there or at your office?"

"Which ever would work for her but if you're going to take her case you will need to be there. I don't want this coming back to bite either one of us in the ass."

* * *

Beth woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes but she didn't get out of bed. She was hungry but she figured she'd just lay there until she knew her daddy and sister would be gone and then she would gone down and eat.

Just as she closed her eyes, her phone started buzzing on the pillow next to her.

She groaned and reached for it and without opening her eyes, she answered.

"Hello?" she mumbled.

"This is Alyssa at Denise Blake's office. I'm calling for Elizabeth Greene," the voice on the other end spoke.

"This is she," Beth replied.

"Oh good. Mrs. Blake wants to know if it would be possible for you to come in to the office today. She would like to go over a few things with you."

"Yeah. I can come in. What time does she want me there?"

"Whatever time is convenient for you but the sooner the better."

Beth sighed and sat up in bed. "Alright. I'll be there as soon as I can."

After ending the call with Mrs. Blake's office, Beth quickly took a shower and dressed, the whole time trying to think of an excuse as to why she was leaving and where she was going, then made her way downstairs.

"Mommy!"

Beth froze at the front door and slowly turned around to see Annie sitting in the living room floor.

"I's wonderin' when you'd be up," Merle said as he walked in to the living room followed by Maggie and Hershel.

"What are y'all doin' here?" Beth asked after a moment of staring at Merle.

"You said you wanted ta see 'er an' get ta know 'er so I asked 'er what she wanted. She said she wanted ta see you but only if you wanted to see her. That's the only damn reason we're here."

"Bethie, did you hear Merle?" Hershel asked when his daughter didn't respond.

"Yeah, I heard him but I….there's….there's somewhere I need to be right now."

"Elizabeth," Hershel called out sternly. "You wanted to see Annie. She's here so you need to spend time with her."

"Daddy…," Beth began.

"Naw. I knew this shit was gon' happen. That's why I didn't want ya 'round," Merle interrupted her. "If ya got somewhere better ta be then ya best get goin' but keep in mind this was yer last chance at see that lil' girl."

"No, Merle. Please just stay. You don't understand, none of you do! Y'all want me to straighten out, to prove to y'all that I've changed and that's what I'm tryin' to do. Please don't take her away."

"Where do you need to be?" Hershel asked.

"I…um…I had an appointment in Atlanta but I'll…I'll call and reschedule it," she stuttered.

"Hurry up then 'cause we ain't waitin' all day," Merle said as he took a seat on the couch.

She nodded and step out onto the porch. With shaking hands she too her phone out of her back pocket and called Mrs. Blake's office.

"You've reached the law office of Denise Blake. This is Alyssa speaking. How may I help you?"

"This is Elizabeth Greene, I talked to you earlier about coming in today to see Mrs. Blake. Is there any way I can talk to her right now because I won't be able to come in today?"

"Yes ma'am. I'll let Mrs. Blake know you're on the line."

Just as she was put on hold, Maggie stepped out onto the porch with her and crossed her arms over her chest as she watched her sister pacing.

"Who are you on the phone with?" she asked her little sister.

"I'm calling Mrs. Blake, that lawyer in Atlanta, but I'm on hold right now."

Maggie nodded and leaned against the railing, continuing to watch Beth.

"Ms. Greene?" Denise spoke, slightly startling Beth. "My secretary said you wanted to talk because you wouldn't be able to come in today. May I ask why you can't come in?"

Beth looked up at her sister nervously then turned away from her as she spoke. "I…my daughter is here. Her dad is here too and he's saying that he's going to let us spend time together and I don't want to miss out on that."

Mrs. Blake was silent for a moment before speaking. "Ms. Greene, as a mother, I understand you wanting and needing to see her but as your lawyer, I advise you not to. There's a lot of different things that could go wrong and I don't want anything to jeopardize your case…."

"No offense, Mrs. Blake," Beth interrupted, "but you don't understand. I've been wanting to see her and I'm finally getting a chance to do that."

The other woman sighed, "Beth, if you take this opportunity to see her, make sure that it is supervised. I know that may not be ideal but there needs to be someone there so her father can't try to accuse you of anything. Is there anyone who can be there with you?"

"Yes ma'am. My sister and dad are here. I doubt they'll leave me alone with her anyway."

"Okay. Be careful about what you say and do. We don't need to give him any more reasons to keep her from you. I'll call you back later and see if we can reschedule, alright?"

"That sounds good," Beth replied before ending the call and turning back to Maggie.

"That was a short call," Maggie said as Beth opened the front door. "What did she say?"

Beth didn't have time to respond when she stepped inside and Annie ran up to her, wrapping her arms around her mommy's legs.

"I'm sorry, mommy. I don't want ya ta go away," she said with a pout as she looked up at Beth, still keeping her arms around her legs.

"Don't worry about that, baby. You have nothin' to be sorry about but I do," Beth said while trying to keep from crying, which was something she had found herself doing a lot of lately.

* * *

Merle watched the exchange between Beth and Annie all the while praying to God that this would be good for everyone involved and that Beth wouldn't hurt Annie by leaving again. That was what he was praying for the most. His little girl meant the world to him and was the only person, other than Daryl, that he cared about and who loved him.

"Daddy," Annie's sweet voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Can you come outside an' play with me an' mommy?"

He glanced up at Beth then back to Annie and nodded his head yes. After all, he never could tell her no.

Beth walked behind Merle as they followed Annie out of the house. It wasn't because she was scared or didn't want to be there, it was because she was happy and a little excited but she didn't want to get too involved in her daughter's life.

She snorted at that thought, causing Merle to turn his head to look at her.

"Tha hell was that for?"

"Nothin'. Just thinkin' is all," she said with a shake of her head.

Merle stopped walking and narrowed his eyes at her. "If ya think this is funny an' it's some kinda game to you, ya best tell me now."

"Merle, I swear this isn't a game. I just….what changed your mind about lettin' me see her?"

"Daryl. He told me wasn't none of this 'bout me or you. It's 'bout Annie an' he was right 'bout that. She wants ta see ya an' I ain't gonna keep 'er away but one fuck up from you an' you won't ever see 'er again. Ya got that?"

She nodded her head in response.

When Merle walked away to join Annie at the tire swing, Beth turned to look at the house. She sighed in relief when she saw Maggie standing there watching them.

This wasn't going to be easy at all.

* * *

"What did you find out?" Denise asked.

"A whole lot of nothing," Phillip replied, keeping his eyes focused on the papers in front him. "Why did she cancel on you?"

"She said she was getting to see her daughter. I advised her against it but I can't keep her away from her."

"Do you think the father knows she hired you?"

"No, I don't think he knows yet. I'm sure if he did I would have already heard from his lawyer."

"Speaking of his lawyer, did Ms. Greene say anything to you about a Lori Grimes?"

"Yeah, she said Lori was there when she signed the papers to terminate her parental rights. Why?"

Phillip leaned back in his chair, "Her name doesn't sound familiar to you at all?"

"No, it doesn't. Should it?"

"It should. You and Andrea are close and you being Amy's lawyer, I figured she would have told you about her. It seems Amy got pregnant a couple of years ago and signed her rights away to the kid. Lori was the father's attorney."

"And you told me you found a whole lot of nothing," Denise smirked.

"It's the truth. I didn't find out anything useful on your client. Other than her drug abuse and murder accusations, she's stayed out of trouble. She even went back to school and got her GED and was taking classes at a community college in California."

"So," Denise let out a deep breath, "when do you want to meet her?"

"How does tomorrow sound?"

"Sounds good but I'll call her and make sure she knows we're coming."

"No, don't call her. If we show up unexpectedly, maybe I can get a better read on her."

* * *

Annie sat in her seat in her daddy's truck, watching her mommy and daddy. Her daddy looked sad, like he had all day. She didn't want to see her daddy sad like he had been but she really wanted to spend time with her mommy.

She couldn't help but think of how wrong her Uncle Daryl may have been when he told her nothing would keep her daddy from loving her. What if she was like her mommy?

"What's wrong, baby girl?" her daddy asked her as he started the truck.

"Do you still love me daddy?"

"'Course I do, baby. Ain't nothin' gon' change that. Why would ya think I don't love ya?"

She shrugged. "I don't wanna be like mommy, daddy. I don't want ya ta be sad."

"Ya ain't nothin' like yer mama, ya hear me? I'm always gon' love ya no matter what."

Merle's heart broke. This whole fucked up situation was causing more trouble and pain than it was worth.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The title is inspired by "Hold On and Let Go" by Sam Riggs and the Night People.
> 
> Please Review!


End file.
